Struglyfe

I have been struggling to write this update all weekend. Troy Sherman came to our school to speak on the Cost of Discipleship, and there was so much good and convicting info, I don't know where to start!

We spent the majority of the week dissecting 1 Corinthians 4. While the whole passage speaks to the best way to posture one's heart as a Christian, we only dissected the first five verses in five days time. I can't believe the depth the speaker was able to get to with each and every phrase in this chapter.

Once again, we focused on the importance of serving others more than what we traditionally focus on in "leadership." The world makes leadership look a lot like being a captain on a ship or the CEO of a corporation, but Jesus reminds us that the greatest among us in the Church is the greatest servant in our midst.

The fact is that while anybody can learn to be in charge of an organization or start a big project, God continually seeks out those who actively seek Him. His Word says that He looks for those that worship Him in spirit and in truth, and so it becomes apparent that the condition of our hearts trumps accomplishment or position any day of the week.

For if we accomplish big things in His Name, but don't truly know Him, what is the point? To what end are our achievements without pure motives?

Thus, our "success" in Christianity is measured by how well we obey God, not in how many people attend a church we've founded or how many people come forward at an alter call or how many missions-based outreaches we pioneer.

And so our "heart condition" is everything in this life. Not only because that is what truly demonstrates our devotion to God, but also because those who are called to leadership also impact the lives and hearts of others.

Because many of us, myself included, understand this level of responsibility that comes hand-in-hand with leadership, we do our best to avoid being put in charge. Not only will our mistakes as leaders become public knowledge, they may cause others to fall as well.

But this past week we were encouraged to change our perspective from how many times we fall to how many times we get back up. As humans, we are bound to fail and mess up. But God's grace is what empowers us to keep going.

However, there are in fact times when we struggle not because we made a mistake, but simply because life is hard. We like to refer to these times as "Desert Seasons" or "Valleys" in our walks with God.

These seasons are basically times when it is difficult to see God, and it is difficult to know where the road leads. These times are when it is difficult to hold into good character and when it is a struggle to believe God is still there.

Times like losing a home, a loved one, or a job. A time where you see a dream die out, or you deal with disappointment of some kind.

But what if you are only as "Christian" as you are in you "Valley" experiences? 

It is easy to hold onto faith at a summer camp or a Christian conference or in a YWAM program. But how do you behave when you lose sight of everything The Lord once revealed to you when you were at a "spiritual high?"

The true test of faith comes when all looks dark. Faith is proven in times of trouble, heartache, and pain more than when everything is "fun and fancy free."

I write this not to be depressing, or to make you feel like you're not even a Christian, but to encourage you to be aware of the state of your heart in the most challenging of circumstance. The ultimate test is not so much getting over the hard things as much as it is about the state of your heart when working through trials.

Do you seek God just as much in the hard times as the good? Or is it more? Less?

If you are finding yourself IN such a trying time, don't give up! Keep pushing through and seeking the Light. 

For me, it sometimes seems like the majority of my experiences are in valleys. That the "victorious mountaintops" are few and far between.

Perhaps I need to shift my perspective on life as a whole, but perhaps life really is just difficult. 

It is tempting to think during the rough times that God is not with me. That He left me on my own to just muddle through.

But then I remember that light shines brighter in the darkness. And that Christ came into the world to help us walk through our fallenness. 

He doesn't just want to rescue us out of darkness; He wants to get us through it.

And so I hope and pray for faithfulness and hope to abound in good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. As long both as Jesus and I live.

And I pray the same over you.

A minister's actual job..

Last week was our fifth week in the School of Ministry Development. It's crazy to think this much time has passed already and yet there is still so much more to learn before graduation in June!

The teaching topic was Ministry Methods and Biblical Counseling. This of course is quite different from psychological counseling, and so we were given the opportunity to identify various issues that might come up in ministry and how to allow the Holy Spirit to address them.

We talked about things like sin issues, ungodly beliefs that impact our perceptions of God, past hurts and wounds, and demonic influence. We were also given a few "tools" to lean on when coming across any of these issues.

But better than any "tool" is the power of the Holy Spirit to minister to anyone in any given situation. There are things we can do as people to identify issues in our own hearts and lives, but really it is impossible to truly be delivered from sin, hurt, brokenness, or disbelief apart from Jesus.

For example, when I was in my Discipleship Training School back in 2012 (oh, so very long ago), I identified an area of unforgiveness in my life that I had forgotten was there. But until I actually prayed aloud for Jesus to forgive me of my bitterness and cried out for healing, the root stayed there in my heart, affecting my whole life. 

It's just the same for all of us. Trying to overcome sin and be healed by our own strength never fully works. But inviting Christ into these pains and struggles brings freedom from this bondage.

Shifting focus: SOMD students are privileged with planning and leading various activities and times around the base. Last Friday, I got to lead our small group time.

We went up to the Red Rocks Amphitheater to get some reflection time outside of our normal space. As we drove through the mountains, we were all amazed at how much we forget the beauty we live in here in Colorado. Here's a couple photos from our drive:

As we were reflecting, I wrote a short poem about how we often treat ourselves. I haven't fully decided if I'm going to change it, but I wanted to share it, as I often process best through writing songs and articles, etc. 

Anyway, it might be a bold image, but if this resonates with anyone, please let me know. I'd love to pray with and for you.

No one else can make me love me

My matter matters

  soul, spirit, and body

If you be a rebel, lay down your arms

Dreams be extensions and 

  hope does no harm

Fighting yourself is a fruitless affair

True judgement stems from one's own

  harsh stare

You are the rebel,

  The prosecutor,

  The soldier

Which one will shoot first?

Here's the trigger -

  you're the holder

Often I beat myself up far more than I should. We have a standard to live be, yes, but at the end of the day, Christ's blood is all-sufficient.

So if you find yourself in this same boat, please remember to hold onto hope. For while we wrestle all day long with ourselves, Jesus already overcame the world. Don't forget that He can overcome your pain, sorrow, sin, and brokenness, too!

Sorry if this is a bit heavy. To finish off, here's a picture of an adorable small group at an amazing amphitheater. :)

Next time, I'll write on the cost of discipleship. Until then, don't lose hope in God.