Mysteriously unpredictable

As a School of Worship student, I have the opportunity to work with a cell band every day. We meet up for daily practice and arrange worship sets as well as write together for the next couple months.

This past week we were asked to describe our "relationship" with our main musical instruments. We could describe this relationship as if we were dating or friends or whatever relationship terms fit best. It was a really intriguing exercise that I thought I'd share.

Here was my response:

My relationship with my voice is like when you're dating someone ultra mysterious. There are many sides to this person and s/he is completely unpredictable. One moment s/he is all quiet and sweet, and the next you are overwhelmed by the power and intensity of his or her personality.

[Obviously I used the term s/he for the sake of a mixed gender audience.] =P

Often times, even I am surprised by how big and loud my voice can be. I don't understand where this power comes from or how it is even a part of me at times.

For awhile, I tried to harness my sound because its power and depth scared me. I couldn't understand it and so I tried to hide from it.

My voice feels like it has a life of its own.

Then I started thinking - perhaps this could give me insight into how I view God. People always say "God is so big," or "God is bigger than we can imagine," but there is a huge difference when you're actually hit with the reality of these statements than when someone simply quotes them at you.

Fully feeling the weight of the hugeness of the God and creator of the universe brings awe and wonder. He is a mystery we can never solve. A problem we can never wrap our minds around.

The reality is that God is bigger and more colorful and more powerful than we can handle. We cannot physically hold onto Him.

While at times the "big" nature of God brings comfort and peace of mind, it also brings immense insecurity or even fear for some.

What would happen if I let myself go, and let Him take over in my life? Would it feel as big and scary as singing a classical aria full voice and forte, or even crazier than that?

Being in the presence of something much bigger than oneself brings so much humility. It highlights the smallness of what I am on my own.

But in order for me to fully be who God created me to be, I need to allow Him to be everything that He is. I need to believe that His power working in me and transforming my life is big enough to handle everything that I am in this present moment.

It is in the process of handing over all that we hold on to - the good, the bad, and the ugly - that God is most able to reveal Himself and how He envisions us. Just as it is most effective as a performer to allow one's own voice to ring out strong and clear and powerful to fully communicate the message of a song.

So while it may be scary and the results may be uncertain, I would encourage those of you who are reading this to allow yourselves to be open to the nature of the fullness of the the living God. To allow Him to show You who He is.

Because while He is mysterious and unpredictable, He is also always good. And so we can rest in knowing that anything He wants to show us or give us or grow in us is also good.